


Subtle

by scouringsandstone



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, But Not Very Secret, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:01:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26275300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scouringsandstone/pseuds/scouringsandstone
Summary: "He is not being subtle," Nadja confirmed."No. Definitely not."
Relationships: Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless
Comments: 10
Kudos: 90





	Subtle

"It's not right," said Nadja.

"No," Laszlo agreed from the chair beside her. "It's bloody disgusting, is what it is."

"A vampire and a human... That is one thing... Human men can be very sexy. Very sensual. Very alluring."

"Yes, but a vampire and his familiar? That's just fucking unnatural."

* * *

  
"I told you to close the door, Guillermo!" Nandor hissed, starting to pace the room. 

"I did, Master."

"Did I not say: 'Guillermo, make sure you close the door'?"

Guillermo took a deep breath and pressed his lips together. "Yes, Master, you did. But I-"

"Then why did you not close the door, Guillermo?"  
  
"I _did_ close it, Master."  
  
"Well, clearly you did not close it properly because otherwise Colin Robinson would not have walked in here whilst we were-" Nandor stopped, risked a quick glance at the camera. "He would not have walked in during... Look. He just wouldn't have walked in here, if you had closed the door properly, okay, Guillermo?"

* * *

  
  
"What I like to do," Colin Robinson began, as he settled on the edge of his stark, utilitarian bed, "is wait until the evening... Ah, maybe a couple of hours after I get home from work... And then I like to do a little tour of the house. See what's happening."

He paused, smiling for the camera, before continuing: "It isn't always all that interesting, but sometimes Nadja and Laszlo might have a fight, so that creates a lot of negative energy. Or Nandor might be waking up and he can get pretty cranky for a few minutes.

"I'm usually- I'm usually pretty hungry when I get in from work, but I have to wait a while because nobody here can get up until after sundown, you know? It's hard sometimes, being the only one awake when I need to feed."

Under the harsh glow of the basement lighting, Colin shifted slightly.

"But the other evening, I had an idea. I went to talk to Guillermo while I was waiting for the others to get up, just to see if I could get a snack to tide me over. I was thinking I might tell him about the new stapler we got back at the office, but when I went to look for him, he wasn't under the stairs. I figured he might be dusting Nandor's room or something, because I hadn't seen him around since I got back. So I went to look in Nandor's room, and, uh, when I got there... Well, let's just say he wasn't dusting."

* * *

  
  
Laszlo wrinkled up his nose is distaste for the benefit of the camera. "Since Colin Robinson has brought it to our attention that Nandor and Guillermo are-"  
  
"Fucking like desperate, filthy squirrels," Nadja cut in.  
  
"Yes. Fucking like desperate squirrels. Well, it's been rather difficult _not_ to notice."

Nadja pulled a face, affecting a mocking imitation of Nandor's voice. "'Gizmo, I need to see you in the fancy room. We must go over the house budget for next week. _Alone._ '"

Amused, Laszlo joined in. "'Gizmo, I wish to retire early. Gizmo, prepare me for slumber.' When what he really means, of course, is that he wants to give the man a damn good seeing to over his coffin. But it's like he thinks he's being _subtle_ about it!"

"He is not being subtle," Nadja confirmed.

"No. Definitely not."

* * *

  


In the lounge, Nandor pretended to stifle a yawn, stretching widely.

"I am feeling very tired tonight," he said. "Are you not feeling tired tonight, Guillermo? I think we should retire early."

Nadja and Laszlo exchanged a glance, then looked across at the cameraman simultaneously.

"Oh. Yes, Master. Now that you mention it, I am actually feeling pretty tired..."

"Good, let us go to my room. You can prepare me for my slumber."

Guillermo rose from the couch, holding out a hand to help Nandor to his feet.

As the door closed behind them, Laszlo threw his hands up into the air in exasperation, and said: "You see what we fucking mean?"


End file.
